User Profile

I need a place to journal and blog for myself. I'm recently married and being freed from the grasp of my internal and external weight demons. I'm ready to be a healthy person, and so i my hubby, so I am happy and blessed in that situation.

To keep it short, in 2002 (age 20) I was about 290lbs, by 2004 I was about 200lbs, and in 2005 my lowest was 168lbs. Most of that time was spent through unhealthy methods between anorexia and bulimia fueled by self-loathing and a maternal figure that harps on skinny figures. I've been through some counseling, felt free from it, but had multiple relapses (including a relapse of weight), but now I think I'm ready to finally focus on health and less on weight. I estimate my weight at about 240lbs right now, but I'm unsure, and I don't plan to weigh myself until Sept/Oct because I know weighing myself is a definite trigger for relapse. I even weigh myself backwards at the doctor and ask for them not to tell me.

My plan for healthy living and acheiving my goals of getting fit and staying there. Follow the rules that every doctor will tell you: For weightloss, at least 45 minutes 4-5 days per week, and eat a balanced diet. For maintaining weight, at least 30 minutes 3-4 days per week.

Included with the general plan will be resistance training for arms and legs, so lunges, squats, biceps curls, tricep dips, push-ups. And because core training is important, crunches.

I still have some internal demons. The hardest for me has been finding clothes to wear that I feel comfortable in. At my lowest I was a size 7/8, and I felt like the sexiest hottie on earth! Right now I'm about a 16/18,

I've been doing well for about 2 weeks now. Well I define as eating a balanced meal, exercising (without over-exercising), and feeling good about myself.

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